


Time

by Aetherschreiber



Series: Aetherschreiber's Fics From Back in the Day [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Drama, Experimental Style, Talking To The Force, time compression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 11:17:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9546500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aetherschreiber/pseuds/Aetherschreiber
Summary: Qui-Gon at the end of his time, confronting the Force in his own, unique way.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Ooooh, boy. So... yeah... Time...
> 
> This may be the most pretentiously derivative piece of drivel I've ever done.
> 
> In one of my college English courses, I was exposed to Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury for the first time. If you've ever read it, you probably remember that completely bonkers, mystifying section that leads up to the one character's suicide. No capital letters, no punctuation, no paragraphs, just a big blob of text. You literally - no pun intended - have to decode it.
> 
> Well, I basically stole that.
> 
> This is Qui-Gon Jinn's death from his point of view. The idea was supposed to be memories all jamming together into an instant and then being interrupted by a conversation with the Force. It was supposed to represent Qui-Gon's self being subsumed by the Force as he died. I don't know if I managed to succeed at doing that or not, but it was an interesting foray.
> 
> This is really the one and only time I've gotten completely experimental. I find I didn't like it much and this is one that I very rarely go back and re-read at all. It was experiment for experiment's sake and while it was a step in my writing growth that I did get some things out of, I find that I very rarely apply what I learned from it.
> 
> Because of its experimental nature, I have decided to leave it completely unaltered from the original.

Lightsabers hummed and whistled in rhythm, the only sound that broke the oppressive silence. Rhythm, pulsing out an even, finite amount of time.  
Time, cursed time!  
As the Sith's dark thoughts pushed against me in the Force, I could feel the demonic presence of his rage, his anger. The Dark Side was strong with him.  
My tired, old bones made their presence known, raging against that strain I am putting on them. There was a time when this battle would have been a much easier thing. But then, I was years younger then.  
Time. Always time. Why is it that I feel as if mine is running out? Why now, of all moments, am I so conscious of the flow of time. My focus should be on this battle. Why will time not leave me be?  
I feel, too, the oppressive thoughts of my apprentice, desperately watching, willing for time to speed up. He doesn't understand. Have I taught him so little?  
_He looked at me with eyes of defiance. In that moment, it became painfully aware to me that he had made his choice. As he handed me his lightsaber, I could tell that his mind was made up and that stabbed me harder than if he had used the lightsaber to run me through._  
"You may go, Qui-Gon Jinn," the boy said to me, "but I will stay."  
Perhaps it was spite that made me do it. Perhaps, in that moment, even Obi-Wan was more of a Jedi than I was. But I left. Force forgive me for what I did to the boy, but I left him there, alone and confused.  
He did not understand what he was feeling, for what Jedi truly can? That emotion is the one thing we Jedi are truly inexperienced in. It is a choice we make, like so, so many others. We are insulated from it since childhood, but of course that means that we do not know what it looks like.  
So how could I have not noticed it? It was what drove my spite in that moment and because of that I noticed neither.  
_"I grieve for a life lost. And I thank all who taught me for my grief. It does not make me weak, it makes me strong." He moved quickly; much quicker than I thought he could with a stiff ankle. A flash of blue signaled the igniting of his lightsaber and he whirled, striking at Xanatos. "Stronger than you."_  
I knew they were different. I had known it in my mind before. But seeing them there, feeling both their thoughts as I could through the Force, I knew it in my heart as well.  
Obi-Wan spoke the truth, without malice, without pain, with peace over anger.  
But oh, the time we had lost. Time, always accursed time.  
_He looked out the window and for a moment, perhaps it was the glare of the nearby star, he looked older. He was sad, careworn, but he was still himself. I could see it in his eyes. He was still a Jedi. But he took no notice of this apparition._  
The rhythms continue, ticking by precious moments. They tell me that I am running toward an end. It will not tell me the end of what, curse it.  
The Sith manages to hit me in the face. Time stops.  
i can feel him in the force he knows it is coming and yet there is nothing i can do about it there is nothing he can do about it he anguishes at this i want nothing more than to cure it  
no  
the cry echoes off the metal walls  
no no  
this is times end this is the way it is to stop stabbing piercing the beam of red run right through me  
no  
the cry is louder now it is coming from him and i cannot stop it the force bounces between us it binds us together  
it speaks in a clear voice come and i i cannot go yet and it the purpose is here you must come to us now just as all do in their proper time and i this time is not proper and it do you presume to know my will and i i presume nothing and it but you do and i i do not presume i know just as you have taught me and told me and shown me and it yet now you deny me why have you learned nothing from me abandoned as you were by your teacher and by your first apprentice you more than others should know of the balance i seek in myself and i this is not balance i cannot leave yet and it you saw with unclouded eyes as you were meant your purpose here is over it is their time now and i i cannot leave him he is not ready he will not take his turn he will not listen and it so little faith you have in me now that time is here he will listen and he will learn and he will do as he is destined and i will you control him and it no that is not my way but i have made him and he will do as he was meant come you will see and i but time is ending and it it is temporary join your will to mine and it will pass and i temporary and it from me you came and to me you will return and i temporary and it come with me now and you will see what happens next and i temporary  
and he cries holding me as the battle rages on and i you must train the boy and he no master and i he is the chosen one train him promise me and he yes master  
and it you must come and i i cannot leave him and it come with me and you will not and i no it is not the time and it it is the end of time and i it cannot be so look at him he is yours and he is not ready i cannot leave and it you have come so far to not believe in me now and i i believe and it then come with me now willingly and leave him for but a moment it is temporary and i temporary and it it is the end of time and i temporary and he come and i no and it my dear one is this truly your choice and i i must remain and it then your faith in this moment has failed and i my faith in you remains but you are wrong  
i will remain

i will remain

it is

 

not

 

 

time

 

 

it is not

 

 

 

**_…_ **


End file.
